Breaking Dawn: Just break already

The point is, ladies and gentlemen, building a hundred theaters and using 98 of them to show a sad excuse for a vampire film is the stupidest idea I have ever witnessed. Yes, you may gain extra money --  but remember, undermining the respect for the field of cinema where your wealth is built upon resembles treachery and you will be punished!

My insides are so MAD! The cinema is to choose between a movie that involves two of the world's greatest minds and one that was previously a poorly written book that treads upon the lines of bestiality and pedophilia. What do they choose? The latter.

I have read the Twilight series. It was, more than anything else, a feather that can tickle the sweaty armpits of pubescent girls. As luring minds into the pits of stupidity is far more easier than dragging them up the hill of true skill, the book series turned into a popular film franchise.

I do not hate Twilight, I just find it offending that some people think it is a gift from God.

And I laughed so hard my brain almost fell off when I saw the trailer. 

Bella and Edward did it during their honeymoon. Fade out. Then Bella is clutching her swelling uterus, sporting that all-too familiar look, asking why she is pregnant. Woman, it is because you had sex! (But in the first place, it is physiologically impossible to engage in intercourse with a bloodless but alive corpse. Therefore, everything is just wrong!)

HERE IS A MOVIE I WANT TO WATCH:

I have read a review and now I'm wanting it more. A Dangerous Method does not deserve to be downloaded and viewed on the puny screen of my laptop. I must see Jung and Freud in the cinema. Local movie houses, have a little pride! Your institution gives chance for art with the illusion of motion and sound to be viewed by the public. Show good movies!

November 23

photo from Interaksyon.com

Today is November 23, 2011. This day, two years ago, headlines across the country forced us to face the decline of our own government.

The Senate passed a resolution declaring the 23rd of November as the National Day to End Impunity.

I hope the ravenous prosecution that had recently took place be only the start and not the end of it. If there is one thing I ask, it is that we may be able to sustain whatever it is agreed to be done. 

Chaos vs. Stress

Terror of Consensus (Francoise Gaillard): Harmony in a political space is not by, of, and consensus.

I have empirical proof of its efficacy when it comes to curing inevitable (but somehow rational) sadness that comes upon people.

Keep life busy.

I have been trying to do so but sometimes my body would resist for a reason yet to be found. On random times of the day, I develop an itch to just lie down and sleep right where I’m standing. Of course, I say no. Sleeping midday works against me (I end up hyper-active at 3 AM).

A reason why I have to keep myself perpetually busy is that my brain is a chaotic pessimist. If I give it five minutes of free-thinking and raw contemplation, it would eventually arrive at saddening predicaments. Once I was sad because somehow, my brain arrived to the likely fact that I will never be able to traverse all the highways on earth - and that made me feel bad.

It all started when I was riding a vehicle that time and saw a handful of men working on a road. I have read in a novel or something beforehand the story of a man, who as a kid, noticed the men who work on the roads. As he grew up, he saw more of them -- but in different places around their town. He became happy because he thought one day, all these would stop. There would be no more roads to build and the world would have endless highways to anywhere he would want to go, perfect links to everywhere.

Obviously, this is not the case. I was just really sad because it takes a lot of planning, resources and manpower to build a road and I wouldn’t be able to make use of them all (which for me is a sincere act of appreciation) . Catharsis occurred when I started imagining the lives of the planners and builders. (Their childhood, histories of themselves, help build the roads! I would never be able to appreciate their humanity!)

The point is if I keep my mind linger, alone and free, I definitely arrive at sad conclusions.

So a busy life it is.

I promised myself that I would be more active in school organizations. They are interest-based and the only reason for membership is interest. It is only proper that I respond to their needs. It would keep me busy over doing things which, to begin with, I like. Win-win.

Do school work, of course. My course can be represented by a staircase. Every one step up, you get more and more stressed and anxious of reaching the Himalayan top.

Do photography again. Stop muting that you love looking at photos and taking them.

IMOGEN CUNNINGHAM: Ideas Without End

PHOTOGRAPHY: Foundation course. Has a great section on film processing.

(borrowed photography books form the library)

Enjoy the life and try best to avoid situations where the mind wanders freely. Or if ever it really craves for a roam around the field, teach it about roses which are beautiful but thorny.

And here is the part where I try to stop the mind from concluding that the happiness is achieved if the mind isn’t free. That the mind is the enemy of contentment. 

Analog

*The following photos were taken by my 35 mm film toy camera. Digitalized through scanning.

On my flight back to Manila.

I have this fascination for airport architecture.

Good morning, Katipunan.

Ateneo.

The Church of the Gesu just before sunrise.

Ateneo's CTC building. No classes here for second sem. =((

Ateneo in 35 mm film. 

From the Ateneo-FEU game where the Blue Eagles sealed the 4-peat deal.

High school friends =))

There is definitely something different and beautiful in film that detail, sharpness and accuracy can never replicate.

Smart Bro Power Plug-It. Hopefully no regrets!

The lengthy absence of any new posts on this blog equalled this:

I have finally come to a conclusion that I’ll be better off with prepaid internet than the unlimited, insanely fast and reliable connection available in my dorm. 

Smart Bro Power Plug-it! 

As much as possible, I have tried my best to stay away from these things because according to experience and a lot of other sources, they are usually unreliable and the promised speeds are almost never achieved. But with non-existent self-discipline when it comes to browsing the internet, prepaid internet emerged the better choice.

The device itself is straight-forward. It reminds me of those 512 megabyte USBs from five years ago. Bulky for its age with a nice LED thing that changes color. I’ve been looking for documentation but up to now, I still have no idea what red, yellow or orange lights signify.

It comes with 10 days of free browsing. (They market it as “Free 240 Hours” and note in finer print “valid for 10 days”. There is definitely something between math and appeal.)

The interface it has for Mac computers is just divine. Its beautiful and not as laggy as Globe Broadband’s version (which, unfortunately, I had to live with during the semestral break).

The internet is fine for me. I definitely notice some lag. I once used Speedtest.net for our dorm internet and it clocked an impossible 22 Mbps. Moving to Smart Bro, the difference is noticeable. I am in my first few hours of use and I am definitely not disappointed, but I’m not that happy either.

In fact, I’m a bit scared because I’m not sure if this was a good idea in the first place. 

(The kit sells for 1,245 pesos with 10 days free internet. Afterwards, rates are at 10 pesos per 30 minutes or 50 pesos for a whole day. Not bad.)

Read Murakami, reading Woolf, paper after paper

I am trying to use every minute of my waking hours for school which has prematurely outgrown my human capabilities as early as now.

Also, I've been reading. Last night, I read Murakami's "UFO in Kushiro". I ended up unable to sleep until about 3 AM when the stress finally hit me and dropped me like a log on my bed. This is too early to be stressed.

I am also reading Virginia Woolf's "Between the Acts". The few pages I have read has been familiar in awkward places and I could swear I have read it before. But I feel that way with a lot of books. Is deja vu a brain failure?

Rock as Juan Photos

These are the photos from Rock as Juan, a concert held in UP last 11/11/11 till around 2 AM of 11/12/11. Made me realize how I enjoy rock concerts. As soon as another one comes up, I would try going.

"Hijo"

A band played a cover of Two Door Cinema Club. Made me crazy because it was the first time I heard a TDCC song being performed live (or being so publicly discussed for that matter.) Also saw Pupil perform live. I stood for over 8 hours, until 2:30 in the morning to see the band live for the first time. It was definitely worth it. Ely Buendia, so we have met. YEHESSSS!

"The Squibs" - a UP Dil local act

Bassist from "Silent Sanctuary. Shinyyyyy!

Band: "Grace Note"

In case you haven't known, I'm a big fan of this guy. When Pupil sang 20-20, I looked like shit trying to hold in my emotions. Respect.

More photos may be viewed here: ROCK AS JUAN ALBUM at Picasa Webs

I'm posting this from Jollibee because I can't do anything academic in my dorm room. The bed is just too attractive to ignore.

I refuse to believe I am cramming for a quiz and a pre-laboratory report.

Ely Buendia Live

Seeing him perform live was just an awesome experience. Now, I can't listen to a Pupil song without chills. I'm sure I am more than a fan of Ely Buendia.

BTW: If you listen closely to the audio of the video, you can hear someone suggesting public nudity. That woman is my good friend.

I'm still looking for ways to put the photos I took of the concert on my blog neatly.

This is like a salad. Too many ingredients.

Hello everyone. No rants here because I know I have already shared my qualms about this semester's nightmarish schedule.

Tomorrow, Ateneo is celebrating teacher's day and classes are waived. I decided, because it is a special day, I must avoid spending it half-asleep in the dormitory. I plan to go to Recto tomorrow with a friend to scout for school books. I'm still doing the get-everything-for-cheap thing and I might score some at Recto tomorrow.

The week has been survived with the help of caffeine. Thank you God for coffee beans.

BTW, I got my iPod back from Iloilo and I am having a joyous reunion with portable music libraries.

I am now listening to the album Donkey, a pop/rock/electronic album by the group CSS. I suggest you try them out. Here is the first song out of the album:

So, I'll be bringing my camera tomorrow.

When the sun sets, it will be time for Rock for Juan. I will be seeing  people I have always wanted to see in 3D live. I must practice poise and sanity tomorrow morning, may they be stronger than the fanboy in me and that they do not break in these coming testing tides.

I went into the Rizal Library today, a place I definitely am thankful for, and borrowed for myself two Sylvia Plath books. I just love her poetry and recently, I have accepted poetry into my life. Good decision. (Except that its nagging me about the time when I wanted to choose taking a Comparative Literature program over anything else. But I'm sure about pre-med.)

"Ariel" was the last collection of poems she wrote before she committed suicide. "The Collected Poems" is an anthology edited by her ex-husband - which through several heartbreaking circumstances could have drawn her deeper into her depression. Poets, rarely are they happy. But the honesty in the oftentimes vague words are so true its almost as if I'm reading emotions off paper.

Here is a poem by her that I really like. Its the one written on the cover of my Chemistry notebook:

Admonition 

If you dissect a bird
To diagram the tongue
You'll cut the chord
Articulating song. 

If you flay a beast
To marvel at the mane
You'll wreck the rest
From which the fur began.

If you pluck out the heart
To find what makes it move,
You'll halt the clock
That syncopates our love.

Tragic. But not violent. The things we have to break for comforting information.

The mood graph is recording a constant supply of optimism, the forecast looks good. Maybe its the coffee or I'm just being successful at keeping an upbeat mood.

BTW, if you have the Yahoo! Messenger app on your dock, don't you laugh a little when you have to work on your desktop near it? Looks silly. Haha.

Notebooks and sweaty pigs

I just sent my Chemistry teacher an e-mail. I'm asking about a discrepancy between names for our laboratory activities. It has begun.

As early as now, I am almost certain that this semester will be a lot heavier than the last one. This week is like a practice of the new schedule. I already ran around lost two times sweating like a pig and dropping pieces of optimism. I also frequently stopped to halt the panic attack every time I remember how crammed my schedule is for Mondays and Wednesdays. The two buildings I have consecutive classes at are technically on different planets. How am I supposed to run under time pressure?

I'm not sure if its me or fear talking, but so far, everything has been extremely stressful. But if there is one thing I love about college, its the bearability of it all. Heavy but not the impossible heavy. After tanks of sweat, I might be able to get out of this sem still recognizable!

I'm doing my best on cutting costs because I realized how everything is so expensive and I have to do something about that. 

Learned that by cutting up a Sylvia Plath poem that I really like, I can make my own notebook cover! Ok. Thats not a genius discovery and could have been a stolen from a kindergarten activity book but Sylvia Plath? Come on. Put your hands together. I'm also recycling notebooks from years ago that I have never used. In high school, when I spot a notebook, I buy it without any reason to except I can't imagine myself not having such beauty after the universe decided we meet. I knew it wouldn't be waste! I was like an ant stocking up.

So by deciding to save and staying away from retailers, I get to use notebooks that I bought before because they were of perfect size and paper texture. Perfect! Plus the yellow shade of old paper - heavenly. My pens should thank me.

Rock as Juan TGIF!

drumroll

Here, my friends, is a photo of me attempting to look like a badass. Of course, I fail. But what do you expect from someone who was once vegetarian?

I will be at the ROCK AS JUAN Concert at UP this coming Friday night. The concert is for a good cause so go grab your own tickets! Let's start this semester with Pupil (oh yes. I'll finally see Ely Buendia. Pray that I don't get overcome by his aura.) and a lot of other bands we all love.

Google the event. The file I'm supposed to upload (which includes the contacts etc) is giving me an error and as of the moment, I can't get another copy.

Back in the capital city

I felt too familiar with the airport.

The flight was terrible. The cold -ber month winds also brought a lot of clouds. Turbulence, you piece of shite.

I’m keeping myself in a positive mood, trying to remove from my head the lingering fact that I just left most of me in Iloilo. Its easy to say I’m prepared for the second semester.

Positive thoughts, I am chasing after you and I will not fail.

So first up, here is a list of things I have done:

1. Looked for my mug. After an hour or so, I concluded it has slipped into a separate dimension. Bought another one.
2. Did the same for a water canteen. (Ha! By now you can see how much I care for my things)
3. Bought coffee and sugar. I curse the oligarchs in Nescafe for undermining the existence of men and women who like their coffee without creamer. Super instant coffee sachets, why don’t you come in 2-in-1? (at least I haven’t seen one)
4. Unpack bags. This hurt my muscles so bad.

Photos:

(Excuse me for these photos that do not convey the actual beauty of the live scenes.)

Still to do:

1. Create copies of class schedules. Inspiration: Remember getting lost during the first day of classes? Did it feel good?
2. Buy notebooks. Just a few because I don’t like taking notes.

So there. I just finished a fast food meal, a practice which I deplore. More to come. Is this independence? I won’t give my life for this.

Just joking. I love being in control of myself.

I wrote this after I arrived in Manila. I didn't get to post it because although I am in control of myself, the internet is being a whiny teenager in a "rebel-without-a-cause" phase. It shut down for about a whole day. Horrible!

Oh crap oh crap

Tomorrow is my last whole day in Iloilo before I ship myself to Manila for half of the second semester.

This feels bad, really bad.

No rest for the ears

I have several new albums on my playlist and I will try to educate you on their awesomeness.

1. Ceremonials - Florence and the Machine

I feel powerful when I listen to F+TM. I love their songs and they capture you in dense space. If you’re familiar with Dog Days, Cosmic Love, You’ve Got The Love, Between Two Lungs, there is more of the awesomness here. Florence’s voice is just so powerful and I love her style.

Songs from the album which might be familiar to you and/or really liked by me:
What the Water Gave Me, Heartlines, Shake It Out


2. Portamento - The Drums

I know how the cover screams “heresy!” but I have really liked The Drums since their first album and I always will even though this is just their second (the loyalty award goes to...). Everything is so laid-back, unbelievably have a little “cuteness” though the lyrsics are really strong yet relaxing. A perfect playlist on a Saturday morning unwinding session.

Songs I really like:
Hard To Love, you might be familiar with Money


3. Oh Land - Oh Land

I can’t remember how I came across this band. They sound really new and cool, somehow industrial. A lot of snapping and simple beats. The vocals are amazing and kind of sticky which is nice. They’re definitely different.

Songs I really like which might also be familiar:
Son of a Gun, White Nights


4. Lights- Ellie Goulding

Her voice is a stand-out, deserving jealousy. If you have heard Starry Eyed then you probably know what I’m talking about. She’s a really special singer and her voice is so different. A perfect example of the good kind of new.

Songs I really like:
Starry Eyed, Guns and Horses, Your Song (cover)
If you want another truly amazing cover, look for her take on Robyn(my love)’s Be Mine. Your mind will be f*cked you just met her.

Just bought my ticket

Finally, I was able to get my ticket for Manila. There is definitely some problem with the way we buy plane tickets. We plan early, we end up buying the tickets a few days before the flight at obscene prices. Online promos = bad timing.

And of course, I suddenly felt emotional because I am being torn between feeling good and bad about leaving.

Reasons to feel good:

School again which means I have a staple of something to do and after learning a lot from the first semester, I’m excited for my second Atenean semester. I am imagining myself being able to organize my life more and I will definitely meet more people which I lately realized is a lot of fun. Manila is not as sleepy as Iloilo and I miss having a lot of peers around. Parties.


Reasons to feel bad:

I’ll be leaving Iloilo City, a place extremely familiar and filled with people I already have magical bonds with. Unlimited food, no allowance to stretch and almost absolute liberty. Doing things, going places with parents.

I had my haircut today together with my mom after we drove around the city. Below is a little video because I suddenly felt like recording. I’m being too emotional about leaving. (The audio is gone because of some copyright crap. Its supposed to be Money by The Drums.)



I saw a few people who were already leaving tomorrow for second semester. I can’t imagine myself being in there place. It would definitely feel so bad! =((

BTW, I’m leaving for Manila at November 6. The classes start at 8. I’ll probably be running in between having to fix my stuff and having my ID validated but the semestral break “extension” will definitely be worth it (I hope).

Paranormal Activity 3, yes it can make you scream

I was in Starbucks horrifyingly sitting by myself to pass time while my parents had a date with Praybeyt Benjamin (watched it already). It was definitely a horror because Starbucks was noisy with people who were with other people. Yes, there were a few of us loners unevenly distributed in the area primarily occupied by human herds. I wasn’t entirely alone in a sense.

I received an invitation via text from a friend to watch Paranormal Activity 3. Of course, in as fast as 5 minutes, I was already with them criticizing the trailers before the the movie started. There was this one called Dreamhouse which, as my friend agreed, reminded us of Shutter Island, an idea I immediately dismissed. Shutter Island was a good movie.

Anyways, the movie was fine. There weren’t hair-raising moments, only screamers. What I mean is unlike, for the sake of an example, the brilliant “The Blairwitch Project” where you don’t actually scream but definitely feel fear devouring your organs, Paranormal Activity is really about your ability to bawl your lungs out.

In that department, we were definitely winners. We screamed at the scary scenes then laughed at the retarded follow-ups.

The movie is for cheap thrills. I’m sorry PA fans but with a poster that said “Find out what started the activity” I wasn’t expecting substance. The emotion aside from shock (is that even an emotion?) that the movie instilled in me was anger. The kind of anger I bask ignorance with. The whole time, I wanted to throw my rubber shoes at the woman character. She’s hard-headed and stupid to the point that she put everyone in danger. She even doesn’t take responsibility for it. I certainly don’t enjoy characters who, without any good reason, just won’t believe you. I swear, their eyes are only good for poking. Fuuuu...

And there were scenes (Spoiler alert: eg when the guy was reading the library books and when he was talking with his co-wedding videographer) that were, for some unusual reason, filmed. The movie was, as we all know, in “lost tapes” style. Its hard to cough up a solid story line with that kind of style, a reason why it has to be brilliant.

But definitely, if your vocal chords need some abuse, watch this movie with friends.

Lying... down.

Its really tough to blog when you are busy. I'm not lying! I had a busy day. Sort of. 

Oh, awkward. Not a good liar here. In fact, I'm finding it hard to find a reason why I had a hard time making a post here when most of what I did today was lie down at every surface I saw and avoid arriving at the fact that I was alone. Its November 1 and pop-culture has repeatedly suggested that this day I am supposed to get scared as hell because its Halloween or something. I'm turning 18 and I have no idea when Halloween, All Saint's Day, etc. actually are except that they are in the general area of the transition week opening November.

I'm alone because everyone else left for Janiuay, about a 30-minute drive from the city to visit the departed at a really old cemetery there. I already went yesterday. I wanted some me time for today. When they asked if I wanted to go with them and I said "Nyet." (yep, Russian) I was fresh from my bed, which means I was half-asleep, which meant I'm not sure.

But what was done was done. 

So I just settled for a bipolar internet connection (still the one I'm using now) which is heavenly when I'm exploring the internet but when I start a download, it will disconnect itself usually seconds away from completion of the download. This means I start all over again. I felt like a dog chasing my own tail when I realized that doing something like downloading a file through this damned internet connection wouldn't be successful no matter how many tries I do. I realized that only after the fiftieth or so. But that's fine. Its supposed to be about wasting time.

I turned on the TV which is also bipolar. There are days when all my favorite shows are on. Sitcoms and reality TV (hahahaha). But this morning and afternoon was one of those times when each channel showed the same stuff I don't enjoy. I was pissed because I scanned the channels too much, I eventually was sure that they all put on their crappiest shows because it was November 1 and I was alone. I turned to this one channel and it showed a guy eating a pizza.

Jealousy.

I tried texting my friends, asking around if the mall was open. They weren't sure. I felt lucky so I rode a jeep to the mall and it was open. I bought a big slice of cheese pizza which was sloppily reheated by the guy over the counter while talking about going home. I wanted to throw something to his face because I was hungry and I wouldn't like it if I ate cheese like it was fresh from North Pole. I had it wrapped because I wanted drinks from the supermarket.

I went into the supermarket, grabbed some drink and candy bars. Went home happy. I went inside and yehey, I felt accomplished! When I went in the mall, I wanted to go to the bookstore and buy some art supplies. Now I know why. Back at homebase, I felt like making a ribbon to pin on myself. "For successfully evading the prospect that he won't be seeing the sun today. "

I turned on the TV and all the good shows were on.

Sidenote:

I watched an episode of Giuliana and Bill. I know Giuliana's happily married to a good man but since the first episode, I had a crush on her. The age gap is definitely something but she is a really fine woman. The episode ended with the news that Giuliana had a miscarriage 8 weeks into pregnancy. I immediately fell into sadness. Then I landed on Yahoo!, a bitch that made me read about Giuliana's done surgery for breast cancer. I just want to let her know she makes a lot of people happy and that she deserves to be happy. Gosh, I feel so bad for her but I know SHE WILL BE FINE AND HAPPY.

So there. Because I want to end this day with the sense of productiveness, I wrote a wordy blogpost. Makes me think that maybe one of the reasons why I keep this blog is to have something to do. There is certainly an ugly feeling that grows within me whenever I spend a whole day eating candy bars and just lying down around the house.