Chaos vs. Stress

Terror of Consensus (Francoise Gaillard): Harmony in a political space is not by, of, and consensus.

I have empirical proof of its efficacy when it comes to curing inevitable (but somehow rational) sadness that comes upon people.

Keep life busy.

I have been trying to do so but sometimes my body would resist for a reason yet to be found. On random times of the day, I develop an itch to just lie down and sleep right where I’m standing. Of course, I say no. Sleeping midday works against me (I end up hyper-active at 3 AM).

A reason why I have to keep myself perpetually busy is that my brain is a chaotic pessimist. If I give it five minutes of free-thinking and raw contemplation, it would eventually arrive at saddening predicaments. Once I was sad because somehow, my brain arrived to the likely fact that I will never be able to traverse all the highways on earth - and that made me feel bad.

It all started when I was riding a vehicle that time and saw a handful of men working on a road. I have read in a novel or something beforehand the story of a man, who as a kid, noticed the men who work on the roads. As he grew up, he saw more of them -- but in different places around their town. He became happy because he thought one day, all these would stop. There would be no more roads to build and the world would have endless highways to anywhere he would want to go, perfect links to everywhere.

Obviously, this is not the case. I was just really sad because it takes a lot of planning, resources and manpower to build a road and I wouldn’t be able to make use of them all (which for me is a sincere act of appreciation) . Catharsis occurred when I started imagining the lives of the planners and builders. (Their childhood, histories of themselves, help build the roads! I would never be able to appreciate their humanity!)

The point is if I keep my mind linger, alone and free, I definitely arrive at sad conclusions.

So a busy life it is.

I promised myself that I would be more active in school organizations. They are interest-based and the only reason for membership is interest. It is only proper that I respond to their needs. It would keep me busy over doing things which, to begin with, I like. Win-win.

Do school work, of course. My course can be represented by a staircase. Every one step up, you get more and more stressed and anxious of reaching the Himalayan top.

Do photography again. Stop muting that you love looking at photos and taking them.

IMOGEN CUNNINGHAM: Ideas Without End

PHOTOGRAPHY: Foundation course. Has a great section on film processing.

(borrowed photography books form the library)

Enjoy the life and try best to avoid situations where the mind wanders freely. Or if ever it really craves for a roam around the field, teach it about roses which are beautiful but thorny.

And here is the part where I try to stop the mind from concluding that the happiness is achieved if the mind isn’t free. That the mind is the enemy of contentment.