Lying... down.

Its really tough to blog when you are busy. I'm not lying! I had a busy day. Sort of. 

Oh, awkward. Not a good liar here. In fact, I'm finding it hard to find a reason why I had a hard time making a post here when most of what I did today was lie down at every surface I saw and avoid arriving at the fact that I was alone. Its November 1 and pop-culture has repeatedly suggested that this day I am supposed to get scared as hell because its Halloween or something. I'm turning 18 and I have no idea when Halloween, All Saint's Day, etc. actually are except that they are in the general area of the transition week opening November.

I'm alone because everyone else left for Janiuay, about a 30-minute drive from the city to visit the departed at a really old cemetery there. I already went yesterday. I wanted some me time for today. When they asked if I wanted to go with them and I said "Nyet." (yep, Russian) I was fresh from my bed, which means I was half-asleep, which meant I'm not sure.

But what was done was done. 

So I just settled for a bipolar internet connection (still the one I'm using now) which is heavenly when I'm exploring the internet but when I start a download, it will disconnect itself usually seconds away from completion of the download. This means I start all over again. I felt like a dog chasing my own tail when I realized that doing something like downloading a file through this damned internet connection wouldn't be successful no matter how many tries I do. I realized that only after the fiftieth or so. But that's fine. Its supposed to be about wasting time.

I turned on the TV which is also bipolar. There are days when all my favorite shows are on. Sitcoms and reality TV (hahahaha). But this morning and afternoon was one of those times when each channel showed the same stuff I don't enjoy. I was pissed because I scanned the channels too much, I eventually was sure that they all put on their crappiest shows because it was November 1 and I was alone. I turned to this one channel and it showed a guy eating a pizza.

Jealousy.

I tried texting my friends, asking around if the mall was open. They weren't sure. I felt lucky so I rode a jeep to the mall and it was open. I bought a big slice of cheese pizza which was sloppily reheated by the guy over the counter while talking about going home. I wanted to throw something to his face because I was hungry and I wouldn't like it if I ate cheese like it was fresh from North Pole. I had it wrapped because I wanted drinks from the supermarket.

I went into the supermarket, grabbed some drink and candy bars. Went home happy. I went inside and yehey, I felt accomplished! When I went in the mall, I wanted to go to the bookstore and buy some art supplies. Now I know why. Back at homebase, I felt like making a ribbon to pin on myself. "For successfully evading the prospect that he won't be seeing the sun today. "

I turned on the TV and all the good shows were on.

Sidenote:

I watched an episode of Giuliana and Bill. I know Giuliana's happily married to a good man but since the first episode, I had a crush on her. The age gap is definitely something but she is a really fine woman. The episode ended with the news that Giuliana had a miscarriage 8 weeks into pregnancy. I immediately fell into sadness. Then I landed on Yahoo!, a bitch that made me read about Giuliana's done surgery for breast cancer. I just want to let her know she makes a lot of people happy and that she deserves to be happy. Gosh, I feel so bad for her but I know SHE WILL BE FINE AND HAPPY.

So there. Because I want to end this day with the sense of productiveness, I wrote a wordy blogpost. Makes me think that maybe one of the reasons why I keep this blog is to have something to do. There is certainly an ugly feeling that grows within me whenever I spend a whole day eating candy bars and just lying down around the house.