To Grey

Introduce yourself! So I can give you a hug. lol (the lol doesn't necessarily mean I'm bluffing)

But seriously dude! You should be proud of yourself - at least to me. Wanting to see me smile supercharges my zest to actually be happy! But again the realist kicks in. And here are my cases.

1. You're actually just a coping mechanism of my mind in that in my need to be noticed, I created an 'other self'. That 'other self' is you and to make the illusion even better is that I and "other self" don't actually know each other. Woah! (should I shift to BS Psych?)

2. You are a supernatural being. All the things I've been experiencing in the dorm for the past few nights are horror-story material. Seriously. So this wouldn't be that hard to believe in.

3. You're an actual living organism. You are actually a real person who actually cares about me.

I can't even give full credit to case no. 3 as I can with the two previous cases. Somehow, I find it oddly very unlikely.

Are we schoolmates? You can at least give me that! (still that would suck. There are thousands here!) Or your sex. I won't take any answer against you. lol.

Of hate.

I am trying to divest myself of any trace of hate and now I will try to convince myself to believe in a self-made, likely-flawed but calming definition of hate.

photo from here

As cold is the absence of heat, hate is only the absence of love. And everything on this earth is lovable - as love for self is innate and that nothing is too unique to have nothing in common with. We are born to love, with love, on love and we remove it ourselves only when we disapprove.

And sometimes certain people piss us off. Sometimes we hope that the words that define us are in a separate dictionary from those creatures. Sometimes we just can't keep on living thinking that a certain person and ourselves have similarities. Especially when that person can seem like a fugitive from hell, bringer of doom and destruction. The human world works in a funny way.

Therefore, if a person is making you want to rip someone apart, laugh at them. Because again, its just the world joking. Funny, funny world. And when you laugh at them, it will tick them off. All the better.

Haven

The New Rizal Library of the Ateneo De Manila University.

Whit-wew. photo from here

The New Rizal Library will most likely become my favorite place in the Ateneo. If the rules are not against it, I would carry all my stuff from the dorm and move into the fourth floor. Its really sexy from the outside but its nothing short of my definition of habitat inside.

Inside photos here.

They have very efficient, computer-based, easily-searchable catalogs. Today, I borrowed a Woody Allen book, "Side Effects". Using the catalogs, I found out they have titles which I have been itching to read but wasn't able to find a copy of. A few days back I borrowed "Like Water for Chocolate" which I heard my Literature professor talk about. The books are in prime condition: used, yellowed pages in hard cover. Its just a wonderful place. Here is their website.

I don't know about you but I fancy being a little cold while getting lost in the pages of a book. Its air conditioned and with really cozy couches (to the benefit of students who want to temporarily lose consciousness during the day). If you exit a section of the library and into the staircase/landing area (or elevator for those who abhor anything to do with stairs), you will hear the water jumping around the fountain. Veeeery relaxing.

Its only the third day of classes tomorrow and I'm already going crazy over a building.

Dorm.

The wall up on my desk anticipating clutter.

Already in Ateneo's dorm.

Its not the first time I'll be staying in a dorm. The only difference I noticed are the rules: Curfew's a lot later, room hopping is not a mortal sin and laptops can stay inside the rooms.

I'm sorry. No intelligent input here.

Staying in the dorm can mean no problem but moving IN is another story. A lot of bags to drag up flights of stairs, traffic to endure and just a lot of lining up. Today alone, I spent about two hours in queue, an hour of standing up to claim my receipt and another one to claim my ID. If the density of beautiful people here in Ateneo was any lower, I could have given up easily.

I am pro RH BILL

I am pro RH Bill although I do not contradict the wisdom of "the more, the merrier". I do not believe in overpopulation although I believe there is a problem with the population.

The ultimate reason why I want Filipinos to gain access to modern birth control methods is that I want every Filipino child to be born into the world with opportunities. Every child is a parent's responsibility. People are saying that babies are being viewed as extra expense and not anymore the romantic "bundle-of-joy" but we have to face the fact that these "bundles-of-joy" won't feed themselves, they need to be educated, to be well-clothed and roofed - all of these require resources.

Yes, babies are adorable. The problem is I would rather not see a cute, helpless baby face a future of nothingness because being the nth child in the family, no one could buy him/her education, spare him/her a good spot to sleep on, feed him/her healthy food. That is inhuman.

Its hard to say this, but I would prefer not seeing a baby at all than see a beautiful miracle suffering through life, having less opportunities.

And yes, the population cannot affect the economy of a nation. I believe so - but when the population starts to ask from the government more than it can give, if the population multiplies itself without earning the proper resources to sustain it, the population and the government will turn into mush and that is exactly what is happening.

Parents, both unemployed, give birth to their millionth child. If they can't even feed the ones already there, how will they manage to give this one a happy life? They start asking the government for this and that. In this setting, its impossible to understand that the government doesn't work by spoon-feeding the masses, it only manages the improvement of the populace which it is a part of.

Currently, we are following an unsustainable system. The poor asks for money, the government gives what it can. Quick fix. Instead of teaching a man how to fish, we give him half of a fish then call him poor. 

I am boggled by how this RH Bill is taking a lot of time to be indoctrinated.

Then here comes the church. Sometimes I wonder if they are really considering the greater good or if they just want everyone to see who is the boss. Well, God is the boss, not them. Maybe they are too close to God they actually start to think THEY ARE God. The same thing that happens to animals born to foster parents of different kind. And a lot of people deliberately forget that the church and government are different dictionary entries. What a shame and that is what I consider sad.

Using contraceptives is like saying you can't rear a child. That is maturity. Postponing giving birth to something so beautiful because you can't give it a wonderful future - that is selfless love.

So these are the reasons why I am pro RH Bill.

To the beach for the heck of it

Finally, I was able to drive myself to somewhere. Usually, it would not exceed a hundred meters before my company give in to the fear of me being behind the wheel. So the local beach it is. Memories. I was already getting myself emotional because I have to leave for Manila pretty soon. And how perfect, I had my camera. =))

Its just pointless to hide the happiness when you drove to somewhere without killing someone or running over a house.

Although she loved her life dearly,  she was brave enough to witness my skills in maneuvering a car.

The beach isn't pretty. But still, its a beach and nothing beats the breeze of seasides.

There were street vendors who sold dried fish. We stopped by one and it sounds crazy but it almost felt like drive-thru. Hahahahaha.

I laugh a little when I remember the thrill and the slight "Ave Marias" when a mammoth car approaches us. Hahahaha.

So that's it for driving. I personally consider myself safe for the road.

And for gloating purposes, I must add that I drove a huge chunk of the way back to the city. I reached the fifth gear.

My Toy Camera

For someone who owns a DSLR, I am too happy to be reunited with my toy camera.

I'm sorry but for some reason, I can't rotate the image to its proper position so here are instructions on how to view the image properly:

1. Make sure the photo is occupying a large part of your computer screen.

2. Pretend your head is too heavy for your neck and it starts to rest on your right shoulder.

3. View the image. Ladies and gentlemen, my camera.

I got this when a Jollibee-sponsored Pacific-Islander dressed up as Santa Claus went to our kinder two Christmas Party. I got the gift after specifying to "Santa" that I wanted the camera.

Afterwards, I lost it. It was only when I went back home in Sara that they found it somewhere around the house. This could only mean it was the work of the cosmos that I be reunited with this lovely, plastic contraption. Our house can sometimes look  like an archeological dig of an untidy civilization.

After ten long years! Amazing. I never really enjoyed it because back then, spending for 35 mm camera films for a toddler is a stupid idea. Now that most people think going digital is the way, its become cheaper. When my first roll was developed, I found out that they give a free roll of film after!



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