Working hard for failing. this life.

Definitely not a lucky day.

I'm back in the dorm from the Chemistry and Literature finals. Literature was fine. It was on-the-spot reading comprehension. No way to prepare for it but by cleaning and oiling the mind beforehand.

I prepared for the Chemistry 7 exam though. It took me several days to devour the 400 pages of our wordy book. I toyed around every idea until the general area of my brain hurt. I wanted to over-prepare for the exam so if ever I get a bad grade, there would be no regret but a humbling proof of congenital retardation in the field of General Chemistry.

The exam had 75 multiple choice items. Very well made. Every single question could have been prepared for and it tested comprehension more than anything else. 

But I didn't feel well during the exam. I was shaky. It was as if all the stress from the previous days suddenly demanded rest. But I was fine. I fought the stress and worked my brain. It cooperated. I was confident because I never studied as hard as before in my life and the test wasn't impossible.

I sped up answering because I knew that there was ample time to review and recheck every number. I had my confidence at least 5-out-of-6. I was done and was rechecking my answers already. Number 7. I was rethinking whatever needs to be rethought when my eyes started to sting and my left contact lens pops out for no reason except, maybe, cosmic intervention. Both eyes started to sting so bad I just had to get out of the room and retreat in the dorm, remove my contacts and use eyedrops.

So I passed my paper and did exactly that. I know that I would definitely get more points if I reviewed it well but for some reason, my eyes just had to give out during that perfect second of my life. I am ruined.

Now, I'm clinging on to the optimistic idea that every downfall is a front act to extreme happiness. If that's a lie, look for me in history because I will torture whoever said that.

I'm so mad at life because although I always turn out fine, I get juggled too roughly. No wonder a lot of people lose their sanity.

This week in WTF!

Its finals week and I'm trying my best not to fail any of my subjects. 

With 'try' I mean sleepless nights, caffeine-overdose and eye bags that touch the ground. I could feel my brain flow like mud in my head. Its been turned into mush from all the hours in front of the books,  understanding every strand of the complicated inter-weave of material existential.

In simpler terms, I am the walking dead and it takes a lot of WTF to resurrect my senses.

This week in What the Fxck, Tyra Banks "Modelland"! A book I would probably never buy. 

"I am a fashion supermodel. My life is so hard!"

Metropolitan dreams are made of these: Rose petal sauce and French philosophy

I am here because I am taking a short break from churning out words for my English final paper where I talk about the Baudrillardian concept of simulacra and simulations in Tadiar's view of spatial development in the capital city as expressed in the article "Metropolitan Dreams".

My brain is being overworked. This short break will be used to create an ultimately pointless blog because its 2 AM and I have no one awake to talk to in my dorm. Relax, we have no formal classes tomorrow. I can sleep until Tuesday if I want to (which I definitely don't because of the deficiencies I have with other subjects that I have to eliminate by studying). 

Baudrillard is a French philosopher. I have xenophilic tendencies towards France and the French. They are just so awesome. The awkwardness I feel when trying to speak their language in a remotely accurate accent is the best awkwardness and unnecessary nasal contortion I have ever experienced. I would love to go to France someday.

For the meantime, let me find myself between the big worlds in this translated, worldview altering paper. 

If I get tired of making this English paper, I will proceed to typing a short paper on the film version of "Like Water for Chocolate (Como agua por chocolate)" by the Mexican Film Institute or something. 

My classmates and I particularly loved the scene where Tita's mother returns from the grave. That cinematic impression of ghost hauntings is just so simple, its scaring us to the point that it can happen in real life.

That part isn't available online so let's just see Tita prepare some flowery dish.

I am in love

Women like Robyn, count me in as a fan. I am definitely in love.

4-Peat Bonfire: Cellphone Cameras Are No Good

The glowing digit 4 on the stage is reminding everyone why they're partying under the rain on a Saturday night.
Four-peat man!

To give warranted thanksgiving to the players who dedicated so much time and effort for school pride this UAAP season, yesterday night was reserved for partying. Everyone seemed to forget its the last day before the technical start of finals/hell week. (Except me. I need good scores on my finals so I decided to move to McDo before the peak of the party and study until breakfast.)

I suck so bad. My dSLR was lying under my study table while I struggled with my phone camera. I should start making a check list for things to bring everywhere I go to.

Anyhow, here are some additional photos. Your eyes are fine. The photos are just really bad. Read the captions - but you will need a lot of mental/visual acuity to make more sense.

They showed a lot of AVPs. Nothing like seeing your team score again and again.

SHOOT THAT RECYCLABLE. You basically try to get your plastic cups go inside the "ring" on top.
I suggest if you walk near one of these, you watch your head. Plastic hurts when it hits.

The Four-peat Champions onstage. Everyone is happy except for those who could only see umbrellas.

This was during the lighting of the bonfire. Everyone went to an outdoor party during an El Niña with
hydrophobia.

Film Fetish

I have a fascination for film cameras so I was technically possessed by my five year old self about 4 month ago when I recovered a very old Looney Tunes 35mm Film camera from the archeological archive which my friends would refer to as "childhood".

I got this working plastic camera the year before I stepped into Grade One. Back then, I could never use it because my parents were well informed that paying a premium for film for a child is a bad idea and a waste of money. So what I did to pacify my fetish towards hearing the shutter open and close in 1/60 second was opening the back panel and rolling the film feeder and taking pretend pictures. I sound like a loser child but I wasn't.

Now that film is cheaper and I have less of the clumsiness that came with the birth, my parents can get me film. Yehey! I'm so happy. I finished my first roll on a small trip to a local beach, a practical exam of my highly documented driving school ordeal. The photos were nice and I really love the cloudiness and muted colors in film.

(Although my parents might think that I am being a little looney (haha. get it?) because I own a dSLR with several lenses but I'm using a really old, plasticky souvenir camera. Come to think of it, I'm a pretty blessed child.)

I brought the camera to Manila and I finished my first roll here just a few days ago. I'm going home to Iloilo next week so it would be nice if I can have the film developed there. I'm on my second roll, a Fujifilm 100 C-14. The usual except it was for free. Turns out when you have a roll processed, you get free film. Yehey!

What a beauty!

In terms of contribution, you are a saint

I woke up at around 8 AM today because since my final encounter with Taekwondo, my Thursday classes start at 10:30 AM. To ward off the morning grumpiness, I proceeded to boot my Macbook and opened Safari. My homepage is still the Apple website and I saw this:

I knew what it meant. I knew it was coming because I have read a lot about his health issues. When I saw this, I wished so hard that it meant something else. It didn't. Steve Jobs is gone. But its alright. He has overdone his part so much I find it easy to imagine him living in a select avenue in heaven.

I'm relatively new to Mac computers. I'm familiar with the other devices and I have always adored the simplicity and the ease of use. Steve Jobs never had forums so he could know what his target consumers wanted. He trusted in his instincts and understanding so much he got kicked out of Apple once (only to come back and transform the company into an empire). He never gave up and he is a full-time inventor and a full-time businessman. He is just amazing. He knew what the people wanted and thats about what being a producer is about.

I have watched his keynotes because I found it interesting how Apple introduces their products to the market. This eventually evolved into high regard for him and the company. When I finally owned my first Mac(book Pro), I had high expectations. All of them were exceeded and all these love and mourning I saw taking over the internet is proof that he has done an amazing job for millions of people.

Steve Jobs (1955-2011) is an Apple ex-CEO. He died of an extremely damaging form of pancreatic cancer. He revolutionized human-computer interactions by instinct. He will definitely be missed.