Lost

My brain is definitely messed up. I feel sad and lost again.

Above is a bar of biscuit covered with a thin layer of caramel then chocolate (trust me, I will get somewhere). 

When I was in elementary, my best friend and I would always buy two of this. It was thicker back then and when coupled with a pack of juice, it became our recess snack. It was a cheap option, leaving me with some of my money to buy toys in the novelty shop just outside my school beside a busy road. I was repeatedly told to never go there because it was too dangerous but I always disobeyed. Afternoon after afternoon, I would walk back to our elementary school campus cradling mangoes in plastic bags and cards with anime characters I don't even recognize.

It wasn't the thrill of disobedience that fueled it but definitely knowing what I want. Now, I don't have that. All is a blur. What people want from me, what I want for myself has become an unrecognizable blob in my head. Living a life without direction is too hard for me right now. I feel robbed of my ability to make decisions. 

When I saw this bar in a Seven Eleven store, I felt so betrayed for some reason.